The Woman with the Issue

From the time I was a little girl, I have always been intrigued by the story in the Bible about the woman with the issue of blood. As a child, I had no idea what "issue of blood" meant and would fabricate ideas about how this woman could have an issue with her blood. For example, maybe her blood was wine instead of blood (I think I was getting "turning water into wine" confused with "wine into blood". Bible stories are a lot to keep track of when you are a kid!). There was also a time that I remember seeing a children's movie about this particular story and this particular woman was crawling on the ground trying to reach Jesus and receive healing. Of course that was totally lost on me and all I could think was, She would probably feel a lot better if she didn't crawl on the ground and let people walk all over her. It made perfect sense to me. Genius, really.

As a young girl, I never thought that I would one day relate to this woman in indescribable ways. I can relate, really I can.

I first noticed my "issue of blood" when I was a sophomore in college. For no legitimate reason at all, I was absolutely and inexplicably exhausted. I remember walking to class one day and willing myself to lift my leg to take my next step. It was kind of surreal to experience, there I was barely 20 and I felt like my body had aged on me, over night. I wish this wasn't the case, but I skipped a lot of classes because of that very fact. It was hard not to feel like I was just a lazy bum, but I know now that really I wasn't. Not only was I exhausted, I was also experience unbelievably heavy bleeding during my cycle, bleeding that would last weeks at a time. There were a few times that I had to go to the ER due to so much loss of blood. Lets just say that it isn't a good idea for a 98 pound woman to loose that much blood.

These occurrences continued into my first year of marriage and into the "Lets make a family" stage. After a while, I decided to go back to the doctor and see if they had any more answers for me. They ran a few tests and found out that I have Thyroid Disease (An autoimmune disease that causes my white blood cells to attack my thyroid gland and slowly but surely kill it off. Dramatic, I know.) I am so blessed that the doctors discovered that. It was a long and hard road getting my thyroid numbers to the place that the need to be, but I am thrilled to inform you that they are still well within normal range.

However, I am still loosing a lot of blood on a monthly basis for an amount of time of anywhere between 2-6 weeks. Not fun. So what do I do now? Good question. I am asking the Lord that very question. He knows and I don't. I mean, for Pete sake, He made me! I can trust Him, even with my fragile and temporary body. I will be seeing a doctor as soon as they can get me in, so hopefully there will be some resolution to an issue that has plagued me for a long time now. God can use whatever He wants to make me whole, even a dusty old hem. Here are a few verses that have been running through my head the past week. I hope they encourage you as much as they encourage me.

Praise the Lord O my soul,
All my inner being, praise His holy name.
Praise the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits -
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
Psalm 103:1-5

The parts that really stick with me are "Forget not all his benefits...", "...and heals all your diseases...", "...who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagel's". I am so blessed, blessed with good things. Just because things haven't gone as "planned" doesn't mean that they haven't gone as He planned. What a good God I serve.

If you think about it, would you pray for Chris and I as we navigate our way through this again.

Food bloggers

I love to read food blogs. Well, mostly I like to look at the pictures. Food is so beautiful. I don't know why I think it is so beautiful, but whenever I see a plate of deliciously beautiful food, I get warm fuzzy feelings. Mmmm.

I thought I would share one of my most favorite food blog with you We Are Not Martha. I think you will like it.

Baby Boom

When you are a woman who has a hard time getting pregnant, you go through what I like to call "baby booms". You know, when everyone around you gets pregnant. So far I have survived it through one of those "baby booms" and I am emerging into another one. This one is a little less surreal than the first one because everyone who had a baby during the first boom is having or had another baby, but still, it is kind of weird nonetheless.

When I find out that another woman is expecting, I like to buy them presents. Why? Well, I think it helps me to feel excited and joyful for the expecting family, otherwise I could just get stuck in a "poor me" cycle. I like to buy people gifts anyways...it makes me excited to find something special for a special person, so it makes sense for me to want to buy something for an expecting mother and baby because it does in fact get the excitement going. Chris just thinks it is weird that I have to buy presents for people whenever I find out they are pregnant, but he doesn't try to stop me. He knows it is kind of cathartic for me.

I think that I am at a healthy place right now. I don't necessarily break down every time that "that time of the month" rolls around, I keep it together pretty well. But I can't help but wonder what it would be like to have a living being growing inside of me, a part of me. Sometimes I catch my self staring at pregnant bellies imagining what kind of sensations they are experiencing, that kind of discomfort they are learning to adjust to. I have to admit, I would love to experience the emotions of being excited yet scared spit less of labor and delivery. Sometimes I just wonder, I wonder what it would be like or should I say, I wonder what it will be like.

Well, here's to making it through another "baby boom" and here's to one day being a part of it! Cheers dears!

Rest and Relaxation

First and foremost, today is my honey's birthday! Happy birthday Chris! The world is a better place because you were brought into it.

This past weekend Chris and I went to Santa Fe with our good friends Mike and Bryn for a marriage retreat. This was our third year going. We like to think of it as our yearly scheduled maintenance. Usually we stay in Glorieta, NM where the conference is held, but this time we got a room in Santa Fe (one of my very favorite places on this earth!). Mike and Bryn stayed in Santa Fe also and we had a WONDERFUL time double dating with them all weekend.

On Saturday morning we decided to spend the whole day having fun in the down town Santa Fe area. We went to the Farmers Market (which was one of the best I have every been too), had a unbelievably good lunch at Flying Star (my absolute favorite restaurant), went to REI and let the guys shop to their hearts desire (Chris got a great soft shell jacket for his birthday), walked around the plaza, had a great dinner from Trader Joe's, went to a great seminar at the conference and ended the day off with a delicious dessert from Flying Star. It was a wonderful day. I think that Bryn and I wore out the boys a bit though, due to the fact that shopping energizes us and it wears them out. But they were incredibly good sports and let their girls have fun. Here are a few snap shots of the great day!

The Farmers Market was at the newly renovated Santa Fe railroad yard.

All of the produce the so fragrant and at the peak of freshness.

The sky was so big, clear, and blue. Classic New Mexico.

We also took the Starbucks Via challenge and loved it! While we were walking around the plaza Bryn found the perfect Camel Back, a Starbucks coffee dispenser!

And here is the happy couple! :)

My little New Mexico Sunshine

As most of you know, Chris and I have the great honor of being the God-parents to Wesley Morgan Etterling. He is such a fun little guy! Wes is my guy and we love each other and have such a good time when we are together! Tommy and Tiffany have been so wonderful to allow us to be a part of Wesley's life. Seeing him grow and change has been such a fun experience for me! Wesley is has a piece of my heart and I am so happy to have him in my life as my little dude.

Thanks Tiff, for being so generous and allowing Chris and I love on Wes! You are such a dear friend to me.

Here are some super fun pictures of the Wes man and myself. Isn't he just a looker?



Yep, he melts my heart! I love you Wesley and I am so proud of you!