Birth mother scrap book

Hi! Thank you for taking the time to get to know us (well, as much as a piece of paper with words all over it can let you get to know someone). We are so excited to see what these words can do in your life and the life that you are carrying.

Emilie is a New Mexico girl through and through. She was born in Albuquerque, New Mexico and lived there until she was 3 years old. At that point Emilie’s dad decided to start a ministry to alcoholics and drug addicts in Valencia County. Emilie’s mom and dad, Niven and Kathleen, are wonderful parents and raised her and her older sister, Anna, with love, fun, discipline, and with deep moral conviction. Anna and Emilie are three years apart in age and have grown to be best friends as well as sisters. Anna now lives in Arizona with her amazing husband, Javan, and her mom and dad are still ministering in Valencia County.

Emilie was home schooled until 8^th grade and then went to a private Christian School for her High School years. She worked very hard for her grades and graduated Valedictorian of her graduating class. With that title she received a scholarship to New Mexico State University and decided to further her education in Las Cruces. She met and married the best man she has ever met, Chris, and has been happily married living in Las Cruces. She is very involved in her church and sings on the Worship team that Chris leads. She loves people and investing in meaningful relationships with other women in her life. She is currently mentoring three high school girls from her church and she and Chris are about to start serving as Youth Pastors.

Chris was born in Mansfield, Ohio and lived there for the first 5 years of his life. He had the joy of growing up in a large family where he was number 5 out of 6 children (2 brothers and 3 sisters!). When his dad decided to switch careers from teaching English to being a high school principal, the family ended up living in several locations, from Las Cruces, NM, to Nebraska, and finally to Colorado where Chris spent his middle school and high school years. Through lots of change and a few trials, his parents never stopped teaching the kids by example that God is good all the time. Doing life together as a family was always very important and this value was passed down to the children.

Through high school Chris always had something going on, whether it was sports, taking the lead in the school play, or his involvement with his youth group. He excelled in his school work as well as in football, basketball, and track. Through his hard work he received an academic scholarship to New Mexico State University where he earned the status of Crimson Scholar while studying Civil Engineering Technology. Soon after receiving his Bachelor’s degree in May of 2008 he took a job with an engineering firm in El Paso, TX, where he works today.

Chris and Emilie met their first day of college, freshmen year, at New Mexico State University. Emilie saw Chris (well, the back of his head) before Chris saw her and the moment she saw him, she knew that he was the man that she was going to marry. That evening Emilie would meet him face to face. Chris just happened to be roommates with a friend of Emilie’s and that friend introduced them to each other. Chris thought Emilie was pretty cute (Okay…really cute) and they began a friendship. After a year and a half of getting to know each other, Chris asked her on their first date. Not just a casual, “let’s have fun” date, but he wanted her to know that he wanted to date her with the hopes of it ending in marriage. Both Chris and Emilie were on the same page and from the first date they knew they would be married one day.

Chris had called Emilie on a Saturday morning in October and told her he wanted to go on a hike with her. Emilie, not being particularly fond of hiking at that point, hesitantly said “yes” to a hike for the following day. Early that Sunday morning, Chris picked Emilie up at her house and they drove to a hiking trail. It was a nice hike and they were enjoying each others company, when a tarantula crossed their path. Emilie had, for some strange reason, always wanted a pet tarantula. So Chris emptied out his water bottle and caught it for her. Needless to say, Emilie was very pleased with her boyfriend’s heroism and was delighted that she got a pet tarantula out of it. They continued on their hike, holding their new pet that had been named Hector, in the water bottle. Chris stopped to tie his shoe and Emilie took the opportunity to inspect her tarantula. Before she new it, Chris was on one knee holding his grandmother’s ring asking her to be his wife. Without even a second thought, Emilie accepted the proposal.

June 3, 2006, a hot Las Cruces Saturday, marked the day that Chris and Emilie began their life together; for better or worse, in sickness and in health. Their commitment wasn’t just to each other, but to God, trusting that He would be their strength in hard times, their joy in sadness, and their provider in need, never really understanding what exactly that would look like. Married life is such a blessing for Chris and Emilie. Both cherish being able to do life with their best friend.

After one year of wedded bliss, Chris and Emilie decided that they wanted to start a family. Emilie had already graduated from NMSU with a degree in Family and Child Science and a minor in Counseling and Educational Psychology and Chris only had one more semester left before he would receive his degree in Civil Engineering Technology. It seemed like the perfect time to build on the love that they already had by adding a baby.

After nine months of trying with no success, Emilie decided that it would be a good idea to see a doctor and see if maybe there was something wrong, because most of the people around her were getting pregnant at the drop of a hat. With testing and blood work, the doctor concluded that Emilie had Thyroid disease, an autoimmune disease that affects the thyroid gland, a common obstacle in getting pregnant. Emilie gladly took the medicine prescribed to help solve the problem. Two years went by and Chris and Emilie still did not see the much longed for “two purple” lines on the pregnancy test and the doctors could not tell them exactly why. In that time, Chris graduated College and received a job working as a Civil Engineer in El Paso. Emilie, ultimately desiring to be a mother, worked at a Salon and Day Spa as a Salon Coordinator. They also got a funny and crazy dog named Charlie, whom they dubbed their “Fur baby.”

Chris and Emilie knew that the only thing that they could do about their infertility was to get educated about why they were infertile. So they went to a reproductive endocrinologist and underwent painful and, quite frankly, embarrassing tests to help the doctor figure out why they could not produce a little life out of their love. In October of 2010, Chris and Emilie were given the devastating news that they had a 0% chance of getting pregnant. Both had reproductive issues and with both of their issues at play, the only option for pregnancy would be In Vitro Fertilization (a process where an egg is taken from Emilie and a sperm is taken from Chris and they are combined in a test tube and then developed into an embryo that would be placed in Emilie’s womb, when and if it was ready). Both Chris and Emilie felt a deep moral conviction about not going through with In Vitro Fertilization and made the decision to build their family through adoption.

That is what brought Chris and Emilie to this point, hoping and praying that a young woman would be willing to give them the gift of a child. Could that woman be you?

Chris and Emilie greatly desire to be parents and to invest in the lives of their children; to love their children deeply so that they always know that they have “Biggest Fans” in their mom and dad. They look forward to having a front row seat to the complexities of a little person and getting to know who that person is and what makes them tick. They desire to help instruct their children to be contributing members of society and live lives that make a difference, no matter what that difference looks like. Chris and Emilie know that parenting will be hard, overwhelming, and sometimes nuts, but they look forward to the challenges knowing that God will help them and give them strength, no matter what the future holds.

Are you sitting down?

I know this has been a long time coming. Thank you for your patience. It all happened so fast that Chris and I had to take it all in before I was even able to compose a thought, much less a blog posting! It's been a whirlwind, but a glorious one.

I'm going to start from the beginning. And here is where we first learned about our sweet miracle.

First of all, God directed us to the right social worker at the right time. A few days after we met with Kathi for the first time, she received a phone call from a friend of hers who had a friend who worked at a local family clinic. This friend of a friend was the OBGYN nurse and performed preliminary meetings with new patients who are looking to receive prenatal care. This nurse happened to encounter a young lady who had decided that she did not want keep the child growing inside of her. This nurse decided not to call CYFD, because apparently it's a nightmare working with them, and called her friend who she knew had a few connections with social workers. This friend heard the news about this young mother and immediately called Kathi and asked if she had any couples who were willing to take a child. Kathi, of course, said yes and she gave her friend all her information to be passed on to the nurse who would in turn pass it on to this young mother. Now, please know that situations like this are a long shot...a friend of a friend who doesn't really know the pregnant woman, it's just crazy.

Kathi had told me of this interaction the day after it happened. I was excited to hear the news, but reminded myself to guard my heart and not to get excited about it. I remember thinking to myself, "This isn't the answer to your prayers, this is just a step in the right direction." A few nights after receiving this news from Kathi, we had another scheduled home visit. I was preparing a meal for all of us to share together and Kathi showed up a little bit before Chris got home from work. Kathi was sharing with me her excitement over the news she received and had shared with me. And then she told me that the night she was contacted by her friend she had barely slept and continually woke up to the same dream. The dream went something like this.

Emilie's phone rings and she picks it up to hear Kathi's voice:
Emilie:"Hello!"
Kathi: "Emilie, are you sitting down?"
Emilie: "Yes, I am sitting on my living room couch, why?"
Kathi: "Well, Emilie, I am at the hospital."
Emilie: "Oh no, Kathi! Are you okay?"
Kathi: "Emilie, I am wonderful. I am calling to tell you to come and pick up your baby."

We both cried. I lifted up a prayer in my heart "Lord, let it be so."

On a normal Saturday (February 19th, to be exact) Chris woke up WAY before I did and performed his normal routine of brewing coffee and then spending time with Jesus. I got up about an hour after I heard the dinging of the coffee maker. I joined Chris at the table with my Bible, groggy eyes, and a piping cup of joe. For some reason, that morning I woke up super overwhelmed with the whole adoption process. I was worried, worried that it would never happen for us, worried that we wouldn't get all our "ducks in a row" for the home study, just worried. I looked at Chris and told him, "I need a vacation, a vacation from adoption. Can we go do something today, something fun...can we go shopping?". Chris just chuckled at me and with a knowing smile said, "Sure, where at?". We decided on the Outlet Mall and set out for a mini vacation.

Chris and I really enjoyed each other that day. We had many meaningful conversations and prayed together. I scored a few awesome deals too. It was a good day. On the way home, Chris and I decided that we wanted to make spritzers to have with dinner (a summer favorite and it was hot like summer). We stopped at Walmart on our way home and as we were driving back, I heard me phone ringing. When I looked at it I saw it was our social worker, Kathi. And this is how the conversation went:

Emilie: "Hi, Kathi!"
Kathi: "Emilie, are you sitting down?"
Emilie immediately starts crying and says: "Yes!" (Thank God that Chris was driving!)
Kathi: "How do you feel about little girls?"
Emilie: "I feel WONDERFUL about little girls!!"
Kathi: "Good, because it looks like you are getting one. I just got off the phone with a young lady who is due March 19th with a little girl. I told her a little bit about you and Chris and she loves you already. She wants to meet you next Saturday. You've been chosen by a birth mother!!"

At that point I was crying so hard I couldn't breath and I had to pass the phone over to Chris who was just hoping it was good news! Kathi spoke to Chris and gave him some action items that we needed to get in order before we met with the birth mother. Our home study still wasn't complete at that point, so we had to scramble! It was such a joyful scrambling though! A friend of mine had suggested we make a scrap book to give to the birth mother when we met her, so my primary job that week was to get that put together ...and then quit my actual job because I was going to get my dream job, being a mommy.

We cried tears of joy. By God's grace, we had just happened to purchase a car seat and stroller with Chris' tax return, thinking that we would need it someday, not realizing we would need it in just a few short weeks. God is so good. His mercies are new every morning and He truly does hear our prayers.

More to come.

Home visit - Charlie at it again

If you have read this blog more than a few times, you know that Chris and I own one of the weirdest dogs on the face of the universe. Maybe I should say he has character? That's probably nicer. I know that he thinks he is a human and I know that he thinks he can tell us what to do and what he doesn't want to do. With that, I would like to tell you about Charlie and our dear social worker, Kathi.

First of all, Kathi is such a sweet woman. We are really blessed to have found her and to have her be a part of building our family. Charlie really likes her too. Last Wednesday, Kathi came to our house to make sure we had running water, heat, a bed for a baby, and that the child would have their own pajamas to sleep in (I know, it sounds crazy, but this is just a small part of how we prove to the state that we will be good parents). Whenever we have guests coming to out house, we have to be very deliberate about putting Charlie outside prior to their arrival, because Charlie gets totally weirded out whenever new people come into the house. So when Kathi arrived, Charlie was outside, barking out his protest to being outside. After a few minutes I let him back in and he immediately went to Kathi and made a fast friend. Sniffing, rolling over, jumping, licking... all of the over excited dog tendencies.

Shortly after, we sat down and started the "in house" interview. Every once in a while I would see Kathi's eyes widen. At first I thought nothing of it, until she said "Oh, well Charlie is very friendly." At the comment I immediately drop my head under the table and see Charlies little front legs wrapped tightly around Kathi's leg...for lack of a better term, trying to get to know Kathi better. ;)

Mortified, I gave Charlie my very best "I'm in charge" tone and told him to stop. He skulked off her leg and sat down right next to her. As soon as I popped my head back up to the top of the table, I see Kathi's eye widen...again. I looked down and there was Charlie, red handed, mounting Kathi's leg, again. Great.

Charlie kept this up for the duration of the evening. We even got up to look at our heater, and Charlie followed her and took his opportunity while I wasn't looking. What better way to say "Please help us find a baby?" then to have your dog hump your social workers leg. It keeps you humble, that's for sure!

On your marks, get set, GO!!!!

We started! We are moving forward! We are getting our Home Study!!! I can't believe how fast things have already gone. I only called our Social Worker last Monday and we have already met with her once and have our reference forms in the hands of our references. Now all we need to do is find the woman who will trust us with raising her child, trust us to be parents. If you know anyone who would fit that description, please feel free to contact us. The only criteria is that it's a human child. ;)

So, I guess you could say we are EXPECTING!!!!

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27

Are we there yet?

It's kind of a cliche, the nagging question, "Are we there yet?" But so often it is a question that we ask, that I ask. It may not be an audible question that I subject everyone to in hearing range, but it is a question that I subject God to on a fairly regular basis. I may not use the exact words but I use a variety in my complaints (i.e. "How much longer, Lord?", "When can I have it?", "What do I have to do to get to it?", "I am tired of this journey.").

I was thinking about this as Chris and I were driving to Denver for Christmas. It was a lovely drive with breathtaking scenery. I stared out the window for what seemed like hours, taking in the grandeur of my Gods creativity. It was exciting for me to see the changes of landscaping as the miles went by.

When I was a kid and my family would go on road trips to different places in the US, I can remember my dad hollering to my sister and I in the back seat to stop reading or sleeping and look out the window at what we were driving by. As a kid, that totally bugged me. I would begrudgingly divert my attention from whatever I was doing to pass the time with in the back seat and glance out the window to some breath taking panorama of creation and say "That's nice. How much longer till we get there?". Then go back to whatever it was that I was doing, completely neglecting to absorb all the splendor that we were driving by, only waiting for an estimated time of arrival. I remember being so excited about what we would do when we got to our destination and saw the traveling time as a necessary evil.

Now, as an adult, the travel time is my favorite time. I relish in the idea of having uninterrupted time with my favorite person, Chris, even if the traveling is exhausting. I love to travel, not just for the destination, but for the journey to get there.

Today I found myself asking God those stupid questions as I was pulling out my 2011 calendar (I know, a little late:) and adding all of our family members birthdays. Hoping that in the next year I will be able to add the birthday of my child. Hoping that I don't have to go through another year of waiting. Praying that I would make it through if I had to. Asking God "Are we there yet?", "How long until we get there?", "My butt hurts." So often I get overwhelmed with the idea of the length of the journey and don't look out the window to see what it is that I am actually journeying through.

My prayer for this year is that I would look around and see God's goodness, kindness, faithfulness, and love. And not focus on how long it takes to get to a "destination". Even if nothing that I have been praying for happens, by God's grace, I want to enjoy the journey of getting there.

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9

My Hope

A friend of mine sent me a link to a blog of a friend of hers that adopted recently. This is my hope, in terms of news, for the next year. Be prepared, I literally SOBBED when I read this.

http://codyandcarrie.blogspot.com/2010/10/woo-hooo.html

By the way, we have decided that we are going to adopt. We are going to start the process after the holidays. I am really excited/scared/anxious/impatient/happy. I woke up this morning after having a dream that we had brought home a baby. It was a beautiful little baby and Chris and I were so thrilled to finally have the desire of our hearts. We kept gazing at the baby and then looking at each other and saying "We have a baby!" At first, I woke up from that dream broken hearted that it was just a dream and it wasn't real. But after talking to my mom about it (Moms are always way smart), she reminded me that it was a hope for things to come. Someday, hopefully soon, we will be bringing home a baby and we will be absolutely elated about it, just as we were in my dream early this morning.

We covet your prayers as we venture into this unknown. Please pray that God would provide a young lady that would trust us to raise her child, that we would be prepared for God's timing for all of this, and that the finances would be provided. God knows, we don't. But one thing He has reminded me of in the last few weeks is that He has good things in store for His Children, no matter how tough the road is to get to that good thing.

"All of my life, in every season, You are still God and I have have reason to sing, I have reason to worship." Desert Song, Hillsong United

Sweet

’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
And to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
And to know, “Thus says the Lord!”

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!

O how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood;
And in simple faith to plunge me
’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!

Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace.

I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
Wilt be with me to the end.

Turning heads...

Sometimes there are moments in my life that I swear are straight out or Seinfeld. Today the scene was set in Walmart. Usually I avoid Walmart on Saturdays, because it is CRAZY! But today I had to go, and it was nobodies fault by mine...I was too lazy to go on Friday. In fact, instead of going to Walmart on Friday, I laid on my couch and read my book. I think I made the right choice.

I arrived at Walmart and all was well. In fact, they actually had disinfectant wipes out! I LOVE when they have the disinfecting wipes out! I snagged two and zeroed in on a shopping cart, scrubbed down the handle part and quickly but cautiously keeping an eye on my cart while dashing to the trash to dispose of the used disinfectant wipe. Thankfully nobody took my newly cleaned cart. Ahhh. It was meant to be mine.

Now here is the part where I thought Kramer should be the main character. About 5 seconds after I took off into the store, the cart started making a horrifically loud squeal. I mean LOUD. I don't know where my brain was, but I decided not to return the cart back (100 feet) to its other cart friends: 1) because it meant I had to turn around 2) I had already invested too much into the basket by disinfecting it. I charged on and made it to the produce section. Needless to say I attracted a lot of attention, mostly in the vein of incredulous looks. I should have abandoned ship, but for some reason I just kept going, cart screaming all the way. As I continued my shopping I figured out that it didn't scream at me when I made right hand turns. The thought crossed my mind that I could move through the store by making right turning circles, but that would make me look insane...even more than I already did. At that point I was turning a lot of head. I decided to think it was because I looked cute.

All of my things were gathered and I came to a screaming halt at the check out. The clerk looked up with wide eyes and I explained it was the cart and honestly, just one of those days. She finished ringing up my goods, I paid, took a deep breath and wailed my way to the door, gathered my bags and left the dysfunctional cart with a warning to the door greeter, "This ones a screamer." She gave me a knowing nod and I left, laughing at myself. Really, what was I thinking?

Long time no see

It's been a long time! I feel like there is so much to say, but so little to say at the same time. Chris and I are doing great. We love each other and we love God. What more could we ask for? Oh, I know, a child. So we continue to ask the Lord to bless us with a child, in whatever fashion He deems acceptable.

I took a drug to make me ovulate. On the14th day of my cycle, I had an ultrasound to see if I in fact ovulated. I was told that I did! Yay! But we didn't make a baby. That's okay, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again. The next month rolls along, 14th day comes and I didn't ovulate and apparently the first ultrasound was read wrong, so I didn't ovulate the month before that either. That sucks.

I was brave and I went to see the Reproductive Endocrinologist. Believe me, I cried a lot during the visit. It's like the tears wouldn't stop! I couldn't get sentence out without blubbering. The RE was a nice guy. I really had nothing to be afraid of, except that he wasn't going to give me very good news about my fertility. So, in a nut shell, Chris and I probably wont get pregnant on our own. We are going to need to either do some serious hormone therapy coupled with Invitro Fertilization (IVF) or....a miracle.

You know what? I am totally okay with that news. It's like, all I needed was some finality behind my infertility and now I can move on. Now Chris and I can just make love. Now I don't have to be totally freaked out about how long my cycle is or how short it is. Now I can just let myself be broken without hating myself for it. It's weird.

We do want a family. And we will have one. Someday. Maybe not how we expected it. But, I mean, really, how often do we get the things that we expect? The nature of an expectation is usually unrealistic. Life and situations get in the way of expectations and sometimes we can't always get what we want, you get what you need (to quote the Rolling Stones). I think I am learning what God wants.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55:8-9

We are in the process. I know that I will be a mother, I just know it. So I guess, in a way, I am expecting. I'm expecting a baby. I am expecting God to give us just the right child at the right time.

Never thought I'd do that.

So I just cut Chris' hair. It's pretty bad...kinda' like the hair cut he got two weeks before our wedding, which was terrible. Oh my! I can blame no one but myself for his appearance...

Isn't it funny the things that we do when we are married? Things that we always swore we would never do. Such as cutting the moldy chunk off the cheese and calling it good. Forgetting to snag that one red sock out of the whites and henceforth making your husband wear pink shirts instead of white. Or, letting hair grow in places you would have fainted at prior to marriage (since when did a 25 year old get whiskers?). Among others, cutting Chris' hair poorly is one of those things. I always assumed I could make him look like a GQ model. NOT! I married an unrepentant tight-wad (who I love more that anyone else in the world!) and the only way he is going to get a hair cut is if I do it. It's such a conundrum. Either I let him look like an unkempt college student at his professional job or I make him look like a drill sergeant on leave from the military.

The real sad thing about all of this, is that I work at a Salon. And not just any salon, it's an Aveda Salon. Talent, creativity, and skill are required in order to get a job at Aveda Salons. I got a job because I have good people skills, I'm nice, and have nothing to do with the cutting or styling of hair. During my interview, they neglected to ask if I cut my husbands hair and I neglected to mention it. So there I am, the girl who is pretending to be competent in the beauty world, cutting her husbands hair, poorly. Or should I say, buzzing her husbands hair, poorly. Cutting takes talent, buzzing just requires that you are not in a cast and have free movement of the wrist. Well, at least the kind of buzzing I do. What would my co-workers say?!?

On an entirely different subject, Chris just threw Charlie's ball into the toilet...again. Thank God for bleach! Charlie is currently disgruntled at my feet, snuffing a lot. Drama, drama, drama! :) Here's to red wine and fudgecicles!
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